My place in Taipei

For some reason, every time I come back to Taiwan, I feel like I am stuck in Taipei. My family is here as well as my entire extended family. Most people outside of Taiwan don't know this, but there are actually 2 Taipei's: Taipei City and Taipei County. Taipei City is considered the most important center of Taiwan. Taipei County surrounds Taipei City. It's weird I know, to this day I still get confused. Together the Taipei metropolitan has a population of more than 6 million people.

I have a love/hate relationship with the city I was born in. I love it because in a way it is home, my family is here, it's convenient, and it is probably one of the more international metropolitan cities in the world. The selection of food is excellent. You're looking for a certain cuisine? You name it and there is something for you. There is always something happening. This is why whenever I meet Taiwanese people who goes to the States to study, they find the US boring. "There's nothing to do here" is something I hear quite often. So why is it that I just can't seem to stand this city? Why do I feel stuck?

For starters there are just WAY too many people here. Consider this, Taiwan is roughly the size of Rhode Island. The population of the entire country is roughly 23 million with the majority of the population residing in Taipei and Kaoshiung. Also, people in Taipei are arrogant. We the people of Taipei think that we are superior than everyone else outside the city. Anywhere down south (with the exception of Kaoshiung maybe) we refer to them as "people of the countryside", with a pretty derogatory connotation.

In a way I know Taipei in the sense that I want to know it. I go to pretty much the same places, I dislike certain areas, and I fail to discover some parts of the city that I don't know. Why, I would ask myself.

I am currently reading this book called "Traveler" by the Taiwanese author 胡睛舫. There is one line in the book that translates roughly into the following:

Traveling is like a blind person touching an elephant. A traveler living in his or her own city can only see one leg, one ear, and one ivory. You only focus on your usual day to day activities and you're stuck in the same social group. A traveler in another city, however, can pull apart that distance and see the elephant as a whole. He or she is able to see the city with a different vision and go into it without a predisposed bias.

This pretty much sums up my relationship with Taipei. Even though I haven't really lived here for an extended period of time, it is still a place where I have already established my comfort zone. I don't explore the places I haven't been and I don't search for activities that are out there. It's like I already have a pre-conceived idea of this place, and things end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy for me.

I'm trying to change that this time. I realize that my experience is up to me. I am still the same person, and I am going to look for things that I enjoy doing.

I have already gone to a few museums, gone on a hike, biked 2 separate routes in the city, and walked down random streets. I have found that there are film festivals and cultural activities consistently happening. How is it that I haven't noticed it before? Have I always trapped myself in a certain box when I am back here?

I am committed now to finding my place Taipei, the city that I was born, and a place that I still hope to call home.